Ada emoticon yang punya sebutan kaomoji, yang mulai merebak penggunaanya di kalangan netter dan pengguna SMS. Kaomoji berasal dari Jepang. Secara harafiah, kao berarti wajah, dan moji berarti huruf. Jadi, bisa diartikan bahwa kaomoji adalah huruf-huruf yang dapat mencerminkan ekspresi wajah. Tampilan kaomoji lebih ekspresif, dibandingkan face mark buatan Amerika, seperti atau atau . Memahaminya pun tidak perlu memiring-miringkan kepala Anda. Cukup sedikit berimajinasi dengan menatapnya secara tegak lurus, seperti kita membaca biasa. Unsur-unsur karakter khusus yang membentuknya biasanya terdiri dari tanda kurung tutup sebagai wajah, tanda kutip sebagai mata, dan garis bawah sebagai mulut. Kadang kita pun dapat menambahkan gerakan tangan dengan menyisipkan karakter tertentu. Sekilas mirip dengan tokoh-tokoh kartun gaya Jepang. Mukanya bulat, dengan ekspresi mata khas kartun anime. Elemen utamanya adalah karakter tanda kurung yang membentuk pipi
dan dan garis bawah yang membentuk mulut.

Contohnya, (^_^) yang digunakan untuk mengekspresikan senyum, atau sedang bahagia. Kalau senyum terpaksa, hilangkan saja tanda kurungnya, sehingga menjadi ^_^. Ingin menggunakan ekspresi tangan? Bisa saja. Misalnya ingin mengacungkan jempol tanda salut, tinggal ketik seperti ini (^_^)d. Selain itu, Anda juga bisa menampilkan simbol keringat atau air mata yang sedang mengalir seperti (^ ^;) atau (T-T).

kaomoji ini cukup fleksibel. Dengan karakter-karakter dasarnya, Anda masih bisa berkreasi lebih jauh untuk menciptakan simbol ekspresi yang lebih unik. Misalnya, saat Anda sedang ber-chatting ria dengan kawan Anda, dan ditanya apa yang sedang Anda lakukan, Anda bisa menjawabnya dengan gaya anime yang unik. [Aku lagi santai sambil merokok nih (^ o ^)y-~~~~~]. Menarik kan?

Tersenyum(^_ ^)
Tersenyum(^- ^)
Tertawa lebar(^O^)
Senyum simpul(^ . ^)
Bersorak riang \(^O^)/
Berseru(^ 3 ^)
Senyum malu, tersipu (*^-^*)
Senyum merona(o^-^o)
Merasa terganggu(“- ”
Gugup(-_-
Garuk-garuk kepalaf(^_^)
Menangis(T_T)
Menitikkan air mata(; _
Manyun(” ~ “)
Geram(>_<)
Marah(-_- #)
Bete(+_+)
Pusing(x_x)
Bertanya-tanya( ?_?)
Melotot, heran(@_@)
Tidur(_ _)zzZZ
Bosan sampai ketiduran(_ _’)
Good bye(^o^)/~~

Memohonm(_ _)m
Mendengarkanw( ^_^)
Mencium(*^3^ )
Dicium(*^.^* )
Malu(=_=)
Tersipu(#^^# )
Bermimpi(_ _)..ooOO
MenulisX(. . )
Berlari((( (((;^ ^)
Tergesa-gesaC= C=(;’ _’)
Putus asa(o_ _)o
Acungkan jempol(^ _^)d
Tanda peace(^ _^)v
Ngajak berantem(p^ ^)p
Merokok(” 3 “)y-~~~-
Merokoky(^o^ )..ooOO
Ultraman(@|@ )
Satria Baja Hitam(@w@)
ET(-)(-)
Tikus(” )~
Kodokn(“~”)n
Babi(^o_o^)
Kucing(=^.^= )

Sentence Ending Particles (2)

In Japanese, there are many particles that are added to the ends of sentences. They express the speaker’s emotions, doubt, emphasis, caution, hesitation, wonder, admiration, and so on. Some sentence ending particles distinguish male or female speech. Many of them don’t translate easily.

No

(1) Indicates an explanation or emotive emphasis. Used only by women or children in an informal situation.

(2) Makes a sentence into a question (with a rising intonation). Informal version of “~ no desu ka

Sa

Emphasizes the sentence. Used mainly by men.

Wa

Used only by women. It can have both an emphatic function and a softening effect.

Yo

(1) Emphasizes a command.

(2) Indicates moderate emphasis, especially useful when the speaker provides a new piece of information.

Ze 

Elicits an agreement. Used only by men in casual conversation among colleagues, or with those whose social status is below that of the speaker.

Zo

Emphasizes one’s opinion or judgment. Used mainly by men.

Sentence Ending Particles (1)

In Japanese, there are many particles that are added to the end of a sentence. They express the speaker’s emotions, doubt, emphasis, caution, hesitation, wonder, admiration, and so on. Some sentence ending particles distinguish male or female speech. Many of them don’t translate easily.

Ka

Makes a sentence into a question. When forming a question, the word order of a sentence does not change in Japanese.

Kana/Kashira

Indicates that you are not sure about something. It can be translated as “I wonder ~”. “Kashira” is used only by women.

Na

1. Prohibition. A negative imperative marker used only by men in very informal speech.

1. Casual emphasis on a decision, suggestion or opinion.
   

   Kyou wa shigoto ni ikitakunai na.

   I don’t want to go to work today.

Naa

Expresses emotion, or a casual remark of wishful thinking.

Ne/Nee

Confirmation. Indicates that the speaker wants the listener to agree or confirm. It is similar to English expressions “don’t you think so”, “isn’t it?” or “right?”.

The Role of the “Hotaru” in Japanese Society

The Japanese word for a firefly is “hotaru.”  In some cultures hotaru might not have a positive reputation, but they are well liked in Japanese society. They have been a metaphor for passionate love in poetry since Man’you-shu (the 8th century anthology). Their eerie lights are also thought to be the altered form of the souls of soldiers who have died in war.

It is popular to view the fireflies’ glow during hot summer nights (hotaru-gari). However, since hotaru inhabit only clean streams, their numbers have been decreasing in recent years due to pollution.

“Hotaru no Hikari (The Light of the Firefly)” is probably one of the most popular Japanese songs. It is often sang when bidding farewell to one another such as at graduation ceremonies, the closing ceremony of events, and the end of the year. This tune comes from the Scottish folk song “Auld Lang Syne,” which doesn’t mention fireflies at all. It is just that the poetic Japanese words somehow fit the melody of the song.

There is also a children’s song titled “Hotaru Koi (Come Firefly).” 

“Keisetsu-jidadi” which literally translates into “the era of the firefly and snow,” means one’s student days. It derives from the Chinese folklore and refers to studying in the glow of the fireflies and snow by the window. There is also an expression “Keisetsu no kou” which means “the fruits of diligent study.”

This is a rather newly invented word, but “hotaru-zoku (firefly tribe)” refers to the people (mainly husbands) forced to smoke outside. There are many tall apartment buildings in the cities, which usually have small balconies. From a distance the light of cigarette outside the curtained window looks like the glow of a firefly.

“Hotaru no Haka (Grave of the Fireflies)” is the Japanese animated film (1988) which is based on autobiographical novel by Akiyuki Nosaka. It follows the struggles of two orphans during the American firebombing at the end of World War II.

Bisnis Oriflame sekarang mewabah diseluruh pelosok Indonesia. Baik penjualan secara OFFLINE maupun secara ONLINE. Yuk Jangan ketinggalan untuk mengikuti bisnis yang menarik ini dengan produk-produk yang unggulan dalam dunia kosmetik.

Fun! – Menyenangkan!

Tentukan sendiri waktu Anda! Bagi Anda yang menginginkan pekerjaan tanpa terikat oleh waktu, Oriflame bisa menjadi pilihan Anda. Apakah Anda seorang karyawan / ibu rumah tangga / mahasiswa(i), Anda dapat menjalankan bisnis Oriflame tanpa meninggalkan pekerjaan Anda. Cukup luangkan waktu 1-2 jam sehari untuk memperkenalkan produk Oriflame. Bahkan tidak jarang konsultan Oriflame yang meninggalkan pekerjaan utamanya dan menjadikan bisnis Oriflame menjadi pekerjaan utama. Paruh waktu atau penuh waktu, Anda yang menentukan.

Work at home. Kini di negara-negara maju banyak ibu rumah tangga yang menjalankan bisnis dari rumah sambil mengurus keluarga. Success Team Online memberikan kemudahan untuk menjalankan bisnis dari rumah. Anda hanya memerlukan koneksi internet dari rumah. Dengan melakukan registrasi (gratis), Anda akan mendapatkan website replica pribadi. Gunakan alamat website Anda untuk mempromosikan bisnis Anda. Dari website tersebut, Anda akan mendapatkan pelanggan serta downline dari internet.

Spillover & Randomiser. Kami menerapkan sistem Spillover dan randomiser, dimana seseorang yang mendaftar, maksimum memiliki 2 kaki. Apabila seseorang sudah memiliki 2 downline langsung, maka downline berikutnya akan di-spillover / dilimpahkan kepada downline di bawahnya yang masih belum mempunyai downline. Jadi Anda pun berkesempatan untuk memperoleh downline dari limpahan upline Anda. Siapapun dipastikan akan mendapat downline.

Easy! – Mudah!

Bisnis di Oriflame sangatlah mudah. Anda tidak perlu ahli di bidang kosmetika dan tidak perlu pengalaman menjual. Yang perlu Anda lakukan adalah menunjukkan katalog!

Anda akan memperoleh katalog Oriflame setiap bulannya. Katalog Oriflame setebal 88 halaman full colour berisi lebih dari 550 jenis produk mulai dari haircare, skincare, makeup, bodycare, fragrance (wewangian – baik untuk pria maupun wanita), nailcare, footcare, babycare dan lain sebagainya. Produk meliputi dari perawatan ujung rambut hingga ujung kaki, mulai dari produk bayi hingga produk dewasa dan produk untuk pria maupun wanita! Dalam setahun, Oriflame meluncurkan 200 produk baru.

Siapapun dapat menjalankan bisnis ini. Yang perlu Anda lakukan hanyalah “menunjukkan katalog”.

Gabung sekarang! Dapatkan Oriflame Bag GRATIS (senilai Rp. 79.000,-)

Lakukan pendaftaran (hanya Rp. 30.000,-) selama periode promosi dan lakukan pemesanan yang pertama senilai Rp. 200.000,- paling lambat dalam waktu 30 hari sejak pendaftaran.

Sponsori 2 orang member baru yang masing-masing mencapai kualifikasi Welcome Program 1 (75 BP) selama periode promosi.

Periode promosi: 1-28 November 2007.

* Starter Kit akan kami kirimkan ke seluruh wilayah Indonesia, biaya pengiriman menjadi tanggungan kami.

Silakan Hubungi Website ku ini untuk lebih jelasnya :

http://www.success-team.biz?id=monica_anggen

Dapat pula menghubungiku lewat email dan telp :

Monica Anggen

email : monica_anggen@yahoo.com

telp : 024-70307259

Anak balita memiliki kemampuan yang luar biasa untuk menyerap kepandaian dan informasi baru dibandingkan anak yang berusia lebih tua. Penelitian menunjukkan, mengenalkan pada kegiatan membaca, bahasa, dan matematika sejak usia balita, akan membuat mereka lebih mudah menangkap pelajaran tersebut nantinya.

Berikut sejumlah cara yang bisa mendorong serta melatih mereka agar memiliki otak cerdas.

1. Mengajak bicara. Ceritakan tentang apa saja padanya. Yang jelas, anak jadi tahu, dia merupakan pusat perhatian Anda. Hal ini akan mendukungnya di dalam perkembangan pengetahuan bahasa dan pemikirannya.

2. Pilih buku anak-anak dengan huruf yang besar dan gambar yang jelas. Hal ini akan menolong anak mengerti apa yang mereka lihat dan juga pelan-pelan belajar membaca kata.

3. Beli kaset/VCD/DVD berbahasa asing. Akan lebih mudah untuk anak balita menangkap bahasa asing daripada di kemudian hari.

4. Beli software komputer untuk anak balita. Banyak software yang melatih kemahiran menggunakan keyboard karena sebelum berusia 2,5 tahun anak cenderung sulit menggunakan mouse.

5. Beli huruf abjad yang terbuat dari plastik dan simpan di kamar mandi. Setiap kali mandi, perkenalkan huruf baru dan lakukan berulang-ulang hingga anak hafal. Dengan cara itu, pelan-pelan anak akan mulai belajar adanya hubungan antara berbicara dan menulis di dalam bahasa.

6. Selalu lakukan pengulangan. Banyak orang tua merasa frustrasi jika anaknya berulang-ulang membaca satu halaman di buku yang sama atau menonton film/VCD yang itu-itu saja. Jangan sebal dan panik! Ini merupakan suatu bagian penting di mana anak mengenal proses informasi.

7. Beli huruf-huruf dan angka-angka yang terbuat dari magnit. Hal ini memungkinkan anak bermain sambil belajar di depan lemari es. Kenalkan kata-kata yang baru setiap minggu.

8. Bacakan suatu cerita setiap hari. Baca dengan intonasi dan ekspresi seperti kita sedang bermain drama.

9. Ingat, pendidikan jasmani berhubungan langsung dengan pendidikan akademis. Penelitian menunjukkan, perkembangan otak juga berhubungan erat dengan pendidikan jasmani, seperti merangkak sebelum usia 1 tahun. Jika Anda dan si balita sering melakukan aneka kegiatan olahraga bersama, hal ini dapat membantu menambah perkembangan fisik serta otak anak. Entah itu berlari-lari, naik kuda, berenang, dan lainnya.

10. Beli satu set pelajaran dan pendidikan untuk anak balita. Termasuk di dalamnya buku-buku, video, kaset, dan bagaimana caranya mengajarkannya. Baca dan belajarlah berdua anak. Membeli ensiklopedia bergambar khusus untuk anak pun, tak ada salahnya.

Following last week’s lesson, here is another lesson with movie dialogues. If you recognize the scenes from the lines, you must be a movie junkie!

* Sukatto shita zo! (That hit the spot!) – Pulp Fiction
“Sukatto” is one of the onomatopoeic expressions. It describes elevated mood after solving a problem or nuisance. It also expresses “feeling satisfied” or “feeling refreshed”. Long ago, Coca-Cola created the phrase “Sukatto sawayaka koka-koora” to advertise the product, which meant “total refreshment.” The phrase became popular, and a part of the language in Japan as representing Coca-Cola. “~ zo” is a sentence-ending particle, and is used to emphasize. It is mainly used in male speech.

* Donna koto ga attemo hanarenai wa. (I am with you no matter what.) – Rocky IV
“Hanarenai” is a negative form of the verb “hanareru (to separate)”. “~ wa” is a sentence-ending particle. It is used only by women (This line was by Talia Shire), and expresses the speaker’s volition or intimacy.

* Yoku aru koto yo. Ki ni shinaide. (It happens. Take it easy.) – Scream
“Yoku aru koto” means, “things often happen”. “~ yo” is a sentence-ending particle, and expresses the speaker’s emotion or strong feelings. “Ki ni shinai” is negative form of the phrase “ki ni suru (to worry, to be nervous)”.

* Wakatta. (Got it.) – Sixth Sense
“Wakatta” is informal past tense of the verb “wakaru (to understand)”. With rising intonation, it can be used as a question in informal speech (“You got it?”).

* Ii zo! (Way to go!) – Speed
“Ii” is an adjective, and means “good”. “~ zo” is a sentence-ending particle, and is used for emphasis, mainly by men.

* Yamete! (Cut it out!) – Star Wars: Return of Jedi
“Yamete” is the ~ te form of the verb “yameru (to stop)”. The ~ te form can be used for a request in informal speech. This form is often used by female speakers.

* Akirameru na. (Never let go.) – Titanic
“Akirameru” is the verb “to give up”. “~ na” is informal negative imperative used only by men (This line was by Leonard Dicaprio). Female speakers normally say “akiramenaide” with using the negative form of the verb.

* Suppokashi? (He stood you up?) – You’ve Got Mail
“Suppokashi” is the noun form of the verb “suppokasu (to neglect, to let somebody down)”. “Machibouke” is another word to express “to stand somebody up”.

* Mou iya da. (I’m sick and tired of it.) – Zero Effect
“Iyana” is an adjective, and means “unpleasant, nasty, or to get tired of”. “Mou” means, “any more, any longer”.

* Wakaru n da. (I can feel it.) – 2001: A Space Odyssey
“Wakaru” is the verb “to understand”. “~ n da” is a simple sentence-ending phrase, and has an explanatory or confirmatory function. Since there is no English equivalent, it often isn’t translated.

Choose the appropriate English translation. The answers are below.

(1) Iyoiyo da.	(2) Yarisugi kana.
(3) Owatta.	(4) Ki o tsukero!
(5) Ogori da.	(6) Shikata ga nai.
(7) Tsuini kita wa.	(8) Hazukashikunai no.
(9) Iisugita wa.	(10) Yatte kureru ka.
(11) Sukatto shita zo!	(12) Donna koto ga attemo hanarenai wa.
(13) Yoku aru koto yo. Ki ni shinaide.	(14) Wakatta.
(15) Ii zo!	(16) Yamete!
(17) Akirameru na.	(18) Suppokashi?
(19) Mou iya da.	(20) Wakaru n da.

Translations

The Answers

What Hollywood Actors Say in Japanese

Here comes another Oscar season. Movies are fun to watch and also great source of learning language. Watching Japanese movies can be a good listening practice. 

Many Hollywood movies are shown in Japan as well as Japanese films. I have told you about the translated movie titles before, but have you ever wondered how the dialogues are translated into Japanese? In textbooks, you probably learn many sentences like “This is a pen” and “There are three apples”. Of course, these basic sentences are important, and can’t be ignored when trying to understand grammar and sentence structure. However, you might never have the chance to use them in a conversation. How about simple phrases like “You got it” or ” I made it”? Something that you actually say or hear in daily conversation. Here are some dialogues from movies. Enjoy! 

* Iyoiyo da. (This is it.) – Apolo13
“Iyoiyo” means, “at last”. 

* Yarisugi kana. (Was that over the top?) – Batman Forever
“Yarisugi” is the noun form of the verb “yarisugiru (to overdo)”. “~ sugiru” can be used as an auxiliary verb with verb or adjective, and means “do something excessively”. ”~ kana” is one of the expressions for uncertainty. It can be translated as “I wonder ~” in English.

* Owatta. (I’m through.) – Blade Runner
“Owatta” is informal past tense of the verb “owaru (to finish, to end)”.

* Ki o tsukero! (Watch out!) – Close Encounter of the Third Kind
This is a male speech. Women are likely to say “Ki o tsukete”.

* Ogori da. (The drinks are on the house.) – Cocktail
“Ogori” means, “a treat”. This phrase can be used for personal treat as well. This is also a male speech. Women would say “Ogori yo”. The verb form is “ogoru”. 

* Shikata ga nai. (I can’t help it.) – Crying Game
This phrase is often used by the Japanese. It means, “No help for it,” “No way to avoid it”. “Shou ga nai” is an abbreviated form.

* Tsuini kita wa. (I made it.) – Dead Man Walking
“Tsuini” means “finally,” and “kita” is informal past tense of the verb “kuru (to come)”. The sentence particle “wa” is used only in female speech (This line was by Susan Sarandon).

* Hazukashikunai no. (Shame on you!) – Edward Scissorhands
“Hazukashikunai” is negative form of the adjective “hazukashii (shameful, to be embarrassed)”. “No” is a sentence particle used by female speaker or a child to indicate an explanation or emotive emphasis.

* Iisugita wa. (I was out of line.) – The Fabulous Baker Boy
As mentioned above, “~ sugiru” can be attached to the stem of some verbs. The main verb of this phrase is “iu (to say),” and “iisugiru” means, “to say too much”. ”Iisugita” is past tense.

* Yatte kureru ka. (Are you game?) – Mission Impossible
“Yatte” is the ~ te form of the verb “yaru (to try, to do)”. “~ kureru” can be attached to the ~ te form of the verb, and means “to do something for me”.

Part 1: Houga and Youga

The Japanese enjoy movies, eiga (映画), very much. Unfortunately it is a little bit expensive to see movies at the theater. It costs 1800 yen for adults.

Houga （邦画）are Japanese movies and youga （洋画）are western movies. The famous Hollywood movie stars are popular in Japan as well. Girls love Reonarudo Dikapurio (Leonard Dicaprio) or Braddo Pitto (Brad Pitt), and they want to be like Juria Robaatsu (Julia Roberts). Their names are pronounced in a Japanese style because there are some English sounds that don’t exist in Japanese (e.g. “l”, “r”, “w”). These foreign names are written in katakana.

If you have ever had a chance to watch Japanese TV, you might be surprised to see these actors quite often in TV commercials, something you will almost never see in North America. Click here to see what they are doing in Japan!

Some youga titles are literally translated like “Eden no higashi (East of Eden)” and “Toubousha (The Fugitive)”. Some use English words as they are, though the pronunciation is slightly changed to the Japanese pronunciation. “Rokkii (Rocky)”, “Faago (Fargo)”, and “Taitanikku (Titanic)” are just a few examples. These titles are written in katakana because they are English words. This type of translation seems to be on the increase. This is because borrowed English is everywhere and the Japanese are likely to know more English words than before.

The Japanese title of “You’ve got mail” is “Yuu gotta meeru (You got mail),” using English words. With the rapid growth of personal computer and email use, this phrase is familiar to the Japanese as well. However, there is a slight difference between these two titles. Why “have” is missing from the Japanese title? Unlike English, Japanese has no present perfect tense. (I have got, You have read etc.) There are only two tenses in Japanese; present and past. Therefore present perfect tense is not familiar and confusing to the Japanese, even to those who know English. That’s probably why “have” is taken away from the Japanese title.

Using English words is a easy way to translate, but it is not always possible. After all, they are different languages and have different cultural backgrounds. When titles are translated into Japanese, they are sometimes turned into totally different ones. These translations are clever, funny, strange, or confusing.

Part 2: Examples of the Movie Titles

The word used most often in the translated movie titles is probably “ai(愛）” or “koi（恋）“, which both mean “love”. Here are the titles including these words.

Ai ga kowareru toki (When love is broken)= Sleeping with the Enemy

Ai ni mayotta toki (When lost in love) = Something to Talk About

Ai no sentaku (The choice of love) = Dying Young

Ai to iu na no giwaku (The suspicion named love) = Final Analysis

Ai to kanashimi no hate (The end of love and sorrow) = Out of Africa

Ai to seishun no tabidachi (The departure of love and youth) = An Officer and A Gentleman

Ai to shi no aida de (In between love and death) = Dead Again

Ai wa shizukesa no naka ni (Love is in the silence) =Children of a Lesser God

Eien no ai ni ikite (Living in the lasting love) = Shadow Lands

Koi ni ochitara (When falling in love) = Mad Dog and Glory

Koi no yukue (The place love has gone) = The Fabulous Baker Boys

Renai shousetsuka (A romance novel writer) = As Good As It Gets

The funny thing is there is no word “love” in all these English titles. Does “love” attract more attentions to the Japanese?

Whether you like it or not, you can’t ignore the “Zero Zero Seven (007)” series. They are popular in Japan as well. Did you know that in the 1967’s “You Only Live Twice,” Jeimusu Bondo (James Bond) went to Japan? There were two Japanese Bond girls and the Bond car was a Toyota 2000 GT. The Japanese title of this series is “Zero zero sebun wa nido shinu (007 dies twice),” which is slightly different from the original title “You Only Live Twice”. It is amazing that it was shot in Japan in 60’s. The views of Japan are not quiet right sometimes, however, you could almost enjoy it as a comedy. In fact, a few scenes were parodied in “Oosutin Pawaazu (Austin Powers)”.

We have had the lesson about yoji-jukugo (four character kanji compounds). “Kiki-ippatsu” is one of them. It means “in the nick of time” and is written as below (see #1). Because 007 always escapes from danger at the last moment, this expression was used in the description for 007 movies. When it is written, one of the kanji characters (patsu) is replaced witha different kanji character that has the same pronunciation (see #2). These phrases are both pronounced as “kiki-ippatsu”. However, the kanji “patsu” of #1 means “hair” which comes from “to hang by hair,” and #2 means “a shot from a gun”. Phrase #2 was made up as a parodied word that has two meanings in both it’s reading and writing (007 escapes in the nick of time with his gun). Because of the movie’s popularity, some Japanese miswrite it as #2.

http://japanese.about.com/library/weekly/graphics/kikiippatsu.jpg

Harusnya hari ini berbahagia. Harusnya hari ini seperti keluarga-keluarga lain merayakan hari raya dengan kegembiraan……….

Tapi dari kemaren hanya kesedihan yang kurasakan…..

Cape rasanya selalu berpura-pura bahagia padahal hanya kesedihan seperti ini yang kualami. Semua dianggap selalu kesalahanku dan wajar rasanya aku diperlakukan seperti ini. Kesedihan demi kesedihan. Seperti sudah tak ada cinta dan sayang lagi diantara kami.

Kesakitan dan kesakitan. Kata demi kata menusuk hati terus menggoreskan luka sampai berdarah-darah. Sepertinya kemaren sudah kuolesi betadine, tapi ternyata lukanya susah sekali mengering.

Kalau memang sudah tak ada cinta dan sayang lagi…… mungkin lebih baik keluarga ini cepat saja diakhiri. Daripada setiap hari hanya saling melempar kata-kata menyakitkan yang akhirnya menjadi semakin kacau karena mengungkit-ungkit luka lama. Selalu dia bilang : ” loh dulu kmu juga memperlakukan aku seperti ini.” Kenapa sih dia selalu merasa aku injak-injak, padahal dia loh ga pernah menyadari apa yang sudah dilakukan dan dia katakan kepadaku yang menyakiti hatiku.

Wajar loh aku marah, adiknya memaki aku sambil menunjuk-nunjuk bilang kami kumpul kebo. Wajar loh aku marah karena diperlakukan seperti itu. Memang di dalam islam nikah siri tidak sah ta??? kalau memang tidak sah kenapa suami mengajak nikah siri dulu sampai uang terkumpul baru disahkan? Kenapa si adik tak tau diri bahwa kakaknya tidak punya uang untuk mensahkan pernikahannya denganku? dan tidak tahukah, untuk menempuh nikah siri itu aku harus pindah agama islam dan apa saja yang sudah aku korbankan? Aku dibuang keluargaku demi bisa menikah walaupun nikah siri? Tak sadarkah berapa banyak yang kehilangkan demi hidup seperti ini yang kukira bakal bahagia ternyata hanya kesakitan dan kesakitan seperti ini.

Aku hanya ingin bahagia. Aku hanya ingin merasa bahagia. Tapi kebahagiaan yang kukejar sehingga mengorbankan segalanya malah tak kuraih. Tangis dan kesedihan seperti ini entah sampai kapan kuat kutanggung. Rasa sia-sia seperti ini sampai kapan akan berakhir.

Rasanya ingin saat ini juga kuakhiri. Tapi bagaimana anakku? Dia bilang ” walau merasa sedih dimarahi atau merasa sakit tapi dia tak ingin kehilangan papa. Dia tak ingin hidup sebagai anak yang tak punya papa.”

Berarti aku hanya bisa bertahan. Demi anakku dan berharap keadaan membaik. Tapi entahlah. Seperti jauh dari harapan semuanya. Apa aku jalani saja kehidupanku seperti robot yang tak punya hati. Disuruh bergerak ya bergerak. Disetel kewajiban apa saja yang harus dikerjakan ya dikerjakan. Apa lebih baik aku hidup seperti itu sajakah sampai aku benar-benar ga kuat lagi menanggung semua ini.

Cinta semu saja ternyata yang ditawarkannya kepadaku. Cinta yang hanya bertahan 4 tahun setelah itu buyar semuanya. Cinta yang lebih mementingkan keluarganya sendiri tanpa peduli perasaan istrinya. Cinta yang bagaimana seperti ini????

Entah bagaimana perasaanku saat ini. Aku sendiri sudah tak mengerti lagi. Harapanku akan cinta yang indah semuanya hilang dari bayangan. Kemewahan hidup kutinggalkan demi bersamanya. Keluargaku pun kutinggalkan demi meraih cinta yang dia tawarkan. Tapi kenyataannya hanya seperti ini yang kuperoleh. Materi tidak, cinta juga tidak. Air mata, air mata dan terus air mata. Kesedihan, kesedihan dan terus kesedihan. Rasa sakit yang tidak kunjung sembuh-sembuh dalam hati. Mengendap perlahan-lahan dan berkarang dalam dada…. sampai rasanya sakiiit sekali.

Bertahan demi anakku yang kucintai. Anak yang akhirnya hanya menjadi sandaranku saat kesedihan sudah tak tertahankan. Anak kelas 3 SD yang akhirnya juga ikut menanggung semua ini hanya demi mendapatkan status “punya seorang ayah”

Anak kelas 3 SD yang kadang-kadang menjadi limpahan kekesalan. Anak kelas 3 SD yang walau menangis sesegukkan karena merasa sudah tak disayang tapi tetap berusaha ceria. Perkembangan yang bagaimana kah nantinya anakku ini akibat mengalami ini semua???

Atau kuakhiri saja semua ini. Toh hidup sekarang sudah tak berarti lagi bagiku. Sudah tak ada lagi kebahagiaan yang ku kejar saat ini. Karena kebahagiaan yang kuharapkan akan kudapat dulu itu ternyata hanya semu saja. Kebahagiaan semu inilah yang kuperoleh dari pengorbananku selama ini.

Benar-benar hidup sudah tak berharga lagi. Aku harus bagaimana? Keluarga macam apakah yang ingin kuraih dengan keadaan keluarga seperti ini????

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sepertinya Tuhan pun telah menyerah untuk membantuku.